Ancient Greek Jokes from Philogelos
Philogelos ("The Laughter Lover") is a collection of some 265 jokes, likely made in the fourth or fifth century CE. Some manuscripts give the names of the compilers as the otherwise-unknown Hierocles and Philagrios. Other manuscripts drop the name of one or other or both.
Although Philogelos is the oldest surviving example, joke-books already had a long pedigree. According to Athenaeus, Philip of Macedon had paid handsomely for a social club in Athens to write down its members' witticisms. At the dawn of the second century BCE, Plautus twice has a character refer to joke-books (Persa 392; Stichus 400).
Some jokes from the Philogelos collection:
- When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear-entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"
- An intellectual came to check in on a friend who was seriously ill. When the man's wife said that he had 'departed', the intellectual replied: "When he arrives back, will you tell him that I stopped by?"
- An Abderite (Abdera was a city in Thrace, whose inhabitants bore the brunt of dumb-ethnic jokes) who was a eunuch had the misfortune to develop a hernia.
- Someone needled a jokester: "I had your wife, without paying a dime." He replied: "It's my duty as a husband to couple with such a monstrosity. What made you do it?'
- An incompetent schoolteacher was asked who the mother of Priam was. Not knowing the answer, he said: "It's polite to call her Ma'am."
- A man, just back from a trip abroad, went to an incompetent fortune-teller. He asked about his family, and the fortune-teller replied: "Everyone is fine, especially your father." When the man objected that his father had been dead for ten years, the reply came: "You have no clue who your real father is."
- An incompetent astrologer cast a boy's horoscope and said: "He will be a lawyer, then a city-official, then a governor." But when this child died, the mother confronted the astrologer: "He's dead -- the one you said was going to be a lawyer and an official and a governor." "By his holy memory," he replied, "if he had lived, he would have been all of those things!"
- An incompetent astrologer cast a man's horoscope and said: "You are unable to father children." When the man objected that he had seven kids, the astrologer replied: "Look after them well."
- A glutton betrothed his daughter to another glutton. Asked what he was giving her as a dowry, he replied: "A house whose windows face the bakery."
- A man with bad breath asked his wife: "Madame, why do you hate me?" And she said in reply: "Because you love me."
- An actor who was a jokester was loved by two women, one with bad breath and the other with reeking armpits. One said: "Give me a kiss." And one said: "Give me a hug." But he declaimed: "Alas, what shall I do? I am torn betwixt two evils!"
- While a misogynist was paying his last respects to his wife, someone asked him: "Who has gone to rest?" He replied: "Me, now that I'm alone."
Taken from Diotima. Translation copyright 2001 John T. Quinn.
More articles about Greece and Greeks from Hellenism.Net(in alphabetical order)
- Mando READ MORE >>
- Marathon - by William Winokur READ MORE >>
- Mardonius' meal READ MORE >>
- Medea READ MORE >>
- Mercouri, Melina READ MORE >>
- Minotaur READ MORE >>
- Modern survivals and reconstruction of ancient Hellenic religion READ MORE >>
- Mouskouri, Nana READ MORE >>
- Movies shot in Greece READ MORE >>
- Neo kyma READ MORE >>
- Nephele READ MORE >>
- Nikos Kavadias READ MORE >>
- Nikos Kazantzakis READ MORE >>
- Northern Epirus - Historical Development (1914 - 1996) READ MORE >>
- Northern Greece READ MORE >>
- Odysseas Elytis READ MORE >>
- Odysseus (Ulysses) READ MORE >>
- Olympiakos READ MORE >>
- Olympic Games READ MORE >>
- Origins of Byzantium READ MORE >>
|
